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My husband and I have always been fond of going to different beaches in Davao City, but one very windy Saturday just this holiday, we decided to go to one of the beaches out of town, located at San Ignacio, Manay Davao Oriental.
On our way to Manay Davao Oriental, we passed by an Island that resembles a “SLEEPING DINOSAUR”.This peninsula is a favorite view and visible upon passing Badas Point.Since we couldn’t resist the beauty of its natural wonder, we never forget to take pictures of its sceneries as if we will never see it again.
Then we finally arrived at our final destination at White Beach Resort in San Ignacio, Manay Davao Oriental.The place was magical, enchanting and wonderful.No pollution, no factories, no litter and literally we felt so safe strolling down the stretch of white sand beach up to dusk!We just felt so relaxed and so free from all the hassles of everyday life in the city.
This experience gave us a chance once again to be one with each other, explore a stress-free environment, think a while about ourselves and just took time to sit down, enjoy the view, the sun and have fun!
I come across some friends who keep on complaining about their imperfect marriage.Then I stop for a moment and thing “why some of my friends are fixated about making their marriage perfect?”Don’t they realized that holding the popular, but fundamental flawed belief that LIFE should be a certain way --- “our way” or “your way”, leads to unnecessary pain and anger?
“If life isn’t going the way we think it should be going, we insist that it’s going wrong. Someone obviously made a mistake and should be blamed, criticized, and punished.”
Before you commit to someone, keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.Come to think of it, as the relationship go deeper, over time individual flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious.So learn to deal with it and accept yourself and your relationship without demanding perfection and perfect control over the feelings of others.
Dr. Neil Fiore, in his article, How Can I Accept an Imperfect Marriage, says, “In a relationship, trying to be perfect can cause you to fail to appreciate the positives.Consider ways of accepting yourself and your marriage as perfectly human.”
Here are some tips:
·Work toward more realistic goal of improvement and excellence.Refrain from striving for the impossible goal of perfection. Accept the truth: You are not perfect, you can't make your spouse perfect, and you are not in perfect control of what happens in the world or in your marriage.
·Do not refuse to accept your human limitations.This will help you stop struggling for perfection and obsessing over small “mistakes,” rather than enjoying the positive aspects of your marriage.
·Stop! Say it to yourself, “I’ve let go of trying to be perfect.” Focus on being human. By accepting myself, my spouse will be happy to see that I’m no longer making my marriage a contest to prove that I can create the perfect marriage."
·Keep handy the Serenity Prayer––Grant me the serenity to accept what I can't change (and can't control), the courage to work on what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Personally, I’m a believer that there is no such thing as a perfect couple or almost perfect marriage.In real life, there is no “happily ever after” and no fairy godmothers to save the day.It maybe hard to resist, but one must come to terms that there’s only yourself, your partner, and the relationship.Contrary to what a lot of people perceive, perfection doesn’t just happen magically or grows overnight.It actually takes work; “a lot of work”, to stay in a marriage.Anything worth keeping in life always needs maintenance, and its one thing that a relationship must have, to keep it in tip-top shape.
I for one don’t have a perfect marriage!The difference maybe is I knew it from the start!I and my husband have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths, but we are two unique individuals who have decided to share a life together.I never dreamed of a perfect marriage either, none of us is perfect anyway.The moment I stepped-in into marriage, all I think of is to make our relationship grow and evolve.Bring out the best of each other, fight and argue as often and as intense as we could, but at the end of the day, see to it that we compliment and compromise with each other.
Merriam Webster defines Ambitious as “having a desire to achieve a particular goal”. While Belu Maheshwari says; (from his article “Are you guilty of being ambitious?”) “Ambitious is ardent desire for distinction and aspiration.
It pertains to personal growth and achievement. Base on the above definitions, there is nothing negative in its essence. The world progresses and grows because of this desire.
I was once too ambitious, I was eager to get ahead, and I was willing to do anything to move up the ladder. I wanted to be the go-getter who can really go and get.
On my own side of the story, my ambitions leaded me to rise faster; “got my own house, enjoyed my own business, bought things that really took my breath away! Traveled to some places for vacation and went to several famous restaurants and hotels in the country”. But by being too ambitious as well, I became unreasonably aggressive, which directed me to fall as much faster. I just woke up one day; trying to pick up the pieces…bit by bit…I almost lost everything I’ve worked hard for!
Would you agree that suddenly, I realized that it’s not all about being ambitious? It’s all about my line of attack towards my ambitions. I faced my ambitions with extreme aggressiveness. I’ve always thought that being so aggressive is the only key to reach my ambitions easily…immediately…
I find my self always in a hurry to get what I want. Result was I forgot other essentials in my life! I was focused on the superficialities that I thought can make me feel happy and complete for the rest of my life.
Now, I have learned to tame down a bit, not to worry too much for tomorrow, be happy and be contented with whatever I have now. Life has more to offer. Relax! Enjoy life to the fullest!
2007 was the year I have been trying to forget but couldn’t. At that exact moment, I felt that the whole world seemed to walk out on me. That was the time when the only color left for my eyes to see was Black! Everything seemed to be so dark and empty…I felt so lost in a once very familiar place.
Back then I ceased to notice the difference between day and night. How it was to wake in the morning, neither sleeps in the evening. I was walking and walking out of no where. My self, my beliefs, my life…Everything was gone… dreams were shattered…obscured… Days have passed I couldn’t help but felt the pain of losing it! The business I called my own was ruined penniless, bankrupt….
Having my own business has been my ultimate dream. I forecasted myself being my own boss, having fun doing things I like to do, having more freedom with family and recreations, keeping myself busy and helping others. Being an employee was never part of my long term career plan. Employment for me then was just temporary. That has been my mindset ever since.
Of course I was never lethargic; spend most of my waking hours working, ensuring business is running smoothly. Along with my energy of being a hands-on entrepreneur were my relevant experiences and exposures in facing day-to-day challenges in the business world. What seemed to be lacking here? Why I was failure?
Looking back from this experience, I begin to know my self deeper and deeper, probing my strength and weaknesses in particular. It thought me to understand that everything happens for a reason. There are no accidents, nor chances, nor coincidence. God’s purpose took into account human errors and even sin. God never does anything accidentally and HE never makes mistakes, HE has a reason for everything he creates. I can say that it wasn’t God’s perfect time for me to do my own business, not yet in according to His plan for me.
Now I learned to accept that I shouldn’t forget this past nor regret any decisions I made from this experience, for it is a big part of who I am today! This was the pain and struggles that God let me live through to help me in shaping up my personality. “For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him”, Colossians 1:16
“If you can become the leader you ought to be on the inside, you will be able to become the person you want on the outside. People will want to follow you. And when that happens, you’ll be able to tackle anything in this world”.
The traits of a leader provided by Maxwell in this book are alphabetized. And to briefly describe the book, the following are to be found within its covers:
Why do some people consistently inspire others to follow their lead? According to John C. Maxwell, it's the "character qualities" they possess. In The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader, Maxwell identifies these top traits as character, charisma, commitment, communication, competence, courage, discernment, focus, generosity, initiative, listening, passion, positive attitude, problem-solving, relationships, responsibility, security, self-discipline, servant hood, teachability, and vision--and then defines them in ways that readers can absorb and utilize. Each is covered in a separate chapter opening with a high-concept definition and continuing with relevant anecdotes, details on its meaning, suggestions for further reflection, and exercises for improvement. For example, in the section on vision ("You can seize only what you can see"), Maxwell describes how Walt Disney initially developed the theme-park concept after accompanying his daughters to a fun-filled but rather shabby amusement park. He then analyzes how Disney's resultant projects drew on his personal history while meeting other's needs, and explains how readers must "listen to several voices" to develop successful foresight in a similar way. Finally, Maxwell suggests methods to articulate these visions and measure their implementation.
I considered this book as one useful tool for me not only as a manager but as a person who wanted to improve myself. Though this is not an overnight solution or tip but provides insights on how I can possibly develop characteristics and made me assess if I already have the traits of a true leader. It provided tips on how to improve specific leadership traits and also provided literatures and examples that make the book more interesting to read. What affected me most is the common sense approach to a subject that some of us really use in everyday life. I would like to say that my 8 years experience as a manager made me a seasoned pro, but this book opened my eyes to a foundation for what great leadership really is: Developing effective communication. After reading this book, I decided to include discussion of each chapter to my sales team in our daily huddle meetings.
While reading the book, I come across two qualities that I can recommend; these are Focus and Initiative. Every day we see successful people on television or in the newspaper or we come into contact with them in our daily lives. It is easy to look at these people and imagine ourselves as being as successful as they are. Although some of these people may not have the best character, they might not be the best listeners, and they might not all be easy to get along with, one thing that truly successful people all seem to have is initiative and focus. This is because in order to accomplish anything in life, you must take the first step toward accomplishing it. The world is full of people who want to have success who have a clear vision of what that success is. However, most of them do not have the initiative to start on the road toward accomplishing that success. Once you start on that road, it is even more difficult to stay focused and follow it through to the end. The world is also filled with distractions and people vying for your time. This is why I found these two traits to be the most important ones Maxwell has presented."
